Claudia Dain Ponders the Etiquette of THE COURTESAN'S SECRET
The Courtesan’s Secret hits the shelves this week. For the second time. It first came out in trade paperback in May 2008. Now it’s out in mass market. This is its first time in the aisles and on the shelves in this format. But it’s not its first time down the aisle.
This is sort of like a second marriage. Do I get to wear the white gown? Do I have to settle for ivory, or even raspberry red? How do I treat this second version of the same thing?
It’s sort of an etiquette thing, a matter of protocol, and I don’t know the protocol. I feel that way a lot these days. I went to a wedding last year where everyone in the wedding party and half of the female guests wore black. Black? I thought no one was supposed to wear either white or black to a wedding, an insult to the bride of sorts. My protocol is clearly out of date.
And then there’s the matter of thank you notes. Does a thank you email count? I think it should. After all, I wrote it. But how about a thank you phone call? Does that count? I don’t know.
Whatever happened to RSVPs? I’m fine with sending an email invitation and including my cell phone number as an RSVP contact. I think that’s pretty flexible on my part. But why doesn’t anyone RSVP? I had no idea how many people to tell the restaurant to expect. Has the etiquette changed on that or do I just know crazy people?
I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised. Louisa, the heroine in The Courtesan’s Secret, is very loose in her adherence (or lack thereof) to protocol. She stays within the bounds of etiquette, just. And when she asks Sophia Dalby, ex-courtesan and countess, for help, Louisa gets shoved far beyond the bounds of proper etiquette without so much as a whisper of protest. Oh, maybe a small whisper, just to satisfy her conscience, but she rolls right over what is expected of her and does exactly what she wants, when she wants, to whom she wants.
You know what? I’ve just decided. This book is going to wear leaf green down the aisle. Because that’s what I want. Etiquette? Protocol? I’ll make my own, thank you very much. And thank you, Louisa. You’ve inspired me.
Is etiquette changing too fast for you to keep up or are you in the groove on what to do in every situation? What’s changed since you first learned all ‘the rules?’
