By Joanne Rock

I attended my youngest son’s basketball tournament this weekend. I have three boys and have attended the same rounds of tournaments with all of them. After a long day of waiting between games, one of the other moms remarked that she couldn’t believe I’d done this three times. We find it fun but a bit draining, after all.

But I’m always interested to see how the same experiences change for me by the time I get to it the third time. The basketball tournament – like so many things I’ve done multiple times as a parent- is easier the third time out because I know what to expect. I’m more organized. I don’t get lost because I know where the gymnasiums are- even the ones tucked away on little back streets. I bring the right equipment and always have a cooler full of drinks from home so I don’t have to spring for overpriced bottled water. There is Advil in my purse and an extra icepack for the occasional injury. When the baseball tournaments roll around, I know which ones have swimming holes close by for impromptu dips. I always pack a picnic. Of course, I do this after spending way too much money on trips for my oldest son. In those days, I had smaller kids to watch over too so it was tougher to put as much thought into pre-planning our outings. These days, I’m an old pro.

On the down side, however, I sometimes worry my youngest son doesn’t have as spontaneous of a mother as the other two boys might have enjoyed. I might not have as many adventurous on the scenic route now that my path is so well-marked.

With that first book, everything is a surprise. You’re on the scenic route constantly. And yes, it’s all a big adventure. As confusing as it can be, there is a real magic in that first manuscript, the story that called to you so strongly you simply had to try your hand at writing a book. These days, I ask myself if the magic is still there now that I’m more of an old pro.

Well, I hope so. Sure my books today are different than those early ones, just like I’m a different mom to son number three than I was for that first one. But the benefits of experience lend a different kind of magic to the end result. Because I’m not always second guessing myself, I have time to explore new terrain that I couldn’t handle in the early years. My youngest gets to do things earlier because I’m more confident as a mom. My latest book incorporates more points of view or darker subplots because I have the writing courage to tackle them. It’s a trade-off and one I might as well enjoy since I can’t go back and face the world with the same sort of wide-eyed wonder I did a decade ago. I’ve decided writing and parenting are like fine wine and only get better with age.

***What skills have you improved over the last decade? Your spaghetti sauce making? Your people skills for your job? I’d love to hear about an area you’ve worked to improve and how you’ve been rewarded – or not- by the benefits. Chat with me today on the boards or about this thread on Facebook and I’ll give one random poster a signed copy of my Valentine’s Day themed Blaze, MANHUNTING, with Lori Borrill and Betina Krahn.